12th of April 2022
I forgot to post the journal for today. Maybe because I'm too busy, or I'm starting to think that doing this is useless. Maybe? But for me, it is still important. Still significant to be honest here. Still crucial for me to record my day so that I can read it and remember about all of this when I'm old. Yeah, I need to be consistent about this Yes, be diligent, I need to avoid Alzheimer's disease. I cannot forget everything that is a part of me. Yeah, let force myself writing this journal. Today's sahur is so delicious. My mom cooked honey chicken. Few years ago, this is our favorite dish during sahur. The sweetness, not to spicy and of course it is chicken. And now, still my favorite dish. Even though the only one that ate it right now is me. How nostalgic. Remembering when this family still a whole.
I have done a pretty big mistake in the lab. I admit that I was care less about it. To be honest, I never thought it was two different things. I make a silly mistake in preparing the solution for surface area and signal enhancement analysis. In that analysis, the ions that supposed to be involved in the redox (reduction-oxidation) reaction is ferricyanide which is Fe(CN)6. For this part, I was right. The bad part is the complement ions. The one that I always used is K3, potassium, without the presence of water. But when I analyzed using electrochemical impedance spectroscopy last month, I did not realized that I used the different molecular formula. It still ferricyanide, but it contains water and addition of potassium atom. When my senior mentioned about it, I know that I already made a terrible mistake. No wonder that I have got different results, when I was prepared a new solution. I used different molecular formula of ferricyanide things. God, now I need to repeat the entire experiment. But it is okay. As long as there is no unwanted peaks appeared on my voltammogram. It is harder to explain the reason than to conduct the experiment.
We were texting back like usual. Like nothing was happened before. I was in relieved. Because you respect me when I need some time to be alone. You asked me what happened to me and I said it is a sensitive matters. To be honest, I don't even know what happened to me. I'm just sad, thinking about you. Insecure, thinking that you might found the cracks, imperfect in me. I want a comfort words from you. I just want you to say "I love you" first every single day. I want, a long paragraph, saying why you like me. What is the best part of me that you love so much. Because right now, I look at my mirror, there is nothing to be proud anymore. I know, it is too much. That is why I did not say it to you. Because we both know that I am asking the things that I cannot give the same to you. Are not I?