16th of April 2022
My supervisor called yesterday while I'm taking a short nap. She asked me to prepare some modified SPCE samples during the weekend because she and her postgraduate student, Tina want to learn about electrochemical impedance spectroscopy this Monday's morning. I tried to talk to her saying that I want to go back to my hometown this weekend. But she also trying her best to make me prepare the samples for her. As me, she also scared of my co-supervisor. So, I just agree with her saying that I will make it for her. But I cannot join her this Monday because I need to rest too. She is okay with it. Great, So, I do not need to hear any complain from that co-supervisor of mine. I'm uncomfortable with her.
We depart right after Subuh prayer. Non-stop, just speed up to Alor Pongsu. All of them were soundly sleeping while I'm the only one that fighting with my eyes, avoiding the urge of micro-sleeping. We arrived there after three hours of driving. Too fast? Absolutely, because the road is almost empty and I love fast driving. We visited both of our aunties and divided the scarves. One of my cousin will engage two weeks after the Eid. I'm happy for her, and looks like he comes from a good family. Then, we went to my dad's hometown. O, my sister was infected by Covid-19 and my other sister was brought her home. Not too sick, just precaution, I think. And my cousin in Kuala Kangsar cooked chicken rice for us. It was delicious, truly. Especially the sauces. Too many food last night. And I can see that in my grandma's face that she was happy. Happy that my dad just cleaned up everything upstairs.Too many useless things and all of it will be burnt anyway. I'm too tired for today. All I do after prayer is sleep. Sleep. Sleep. I did not get this peaceful sleep for so long.
You are having a paper for today too. But I don't know why, I keep feeling that I'm just a burden to you. Having a long distance relationship really suffocating me. Because I do not even know what happen on the other side. Are you happy with me? Do you flirting with someone else? Are really sincere with me? Or do you just want to play with me for whatever that happened before? I don't know. I'm anxious. I'm worried about you too. Your late reply and your no laughing texts scaring me. Do things really okay between us? Are you still in love with me? Can you just say that you love me without having me provoking you first?