14th of April 2022
Nothing is happened yesterday. Just you leaving me hanging since that evening. Like what I said before, I'm trying to tolerate with you. I don't want to add fuel on your flame of stress right now. So, I'm okay with it. According to my earlier plan, I should drive my mom to the hospital again for today. She need to take her medications. But, due to the long line of experiments for today, my mom said that she will drive herself to go there. So, after prayer, I just grab my bag and shoot to the university. Yes, early like always. No jammed or honking. The air also cold, making me open my car window just to touch the breeze of it. But, as always also, I'm still sleepy. Even I passed out early last night.
I forgot to tell you about my grandma's appointment yesterday. Her kidneys getting worse. I guess, it is too late to reverse it back again. The doctor asked my mom the same question. "Did she take any weird food?". And my mom just locked her mouth and played innocent about it. To be honest all of us know why her kidneys became like that. She always ate the traditional medicines. The Chinese ones. I'm not held her back. But if she really want to take care of her health, this is absolutely not the right way.There is a lot of great supplements for senior citizen that she can get in any drugstores here. The one that has been test by the ministry and get the approval for it. The one that actually safe. She making me scared. I'm not ready to lost anyone yet. And she need to be there at my wedding. Now, is not the right time to take her, God. Let she taste the food again. Give her the appetite to eat everything that she loves again. Let her talking non stop so that I know, she is getting better. We decided to send her to our hometown. We are not drive her away. But as we all know, we need to face the stairs first before you stairs the house's door. But for sure, not right now. God, please, not right now.
Today is your first paper. I decided to send you the encouraging or maybe sweet texts just few hours before the exam started. Hoping it will get you in a better mood during the examination. I don't know. I'm just trying. You told me that you are having first paper syndrome. Yeah, it is a weird syndrome to me. I never even heard about it. The most common syndrome that I have ever heard among students is last paper syndrome when you get too lazy to study for the last paper. Because all they can remember is the fun after it. But it is not weird. Different people has different way in handling stress. I hope you are fine. I hope your exam is not hard for you. I hope the best for you.