20th of March 2022
I was having a girl's day last night. Met my biggest supporters, listeners and advisors in my life, Farah and Umi. Catching up their life. Umi told me about her works. I agreed with her, that she should resign. If her workplace fails to appreciate her contribution, wore her out, and never treats her right, just left. Because you need to do the job for a long term, and if the environment is toxic enough, you may have a mental breakdown every single day. Are your job is cutting onions? She also mentioned that she may get married at the end of the year. I'm happy for her, truly. They have been together for 10 f*cking years. How? How do they still standing strong for each other? I'm so jealous of her relationship. Through ups and downs, water and fire, fine and stormy, everything. Then I remembered you. Can we be like that? Can I never be f*ck up like before again? Do you face light up, every time you say my name just like Umi's face when she said her love name? I wonder.
That was the first time, I am too honest towards them. I told them about you. About our silly fights because of me. I never felt too blushed before. I face was totally red when I told them we was fighting because you never reply my love one time. Gosh, how stupid I am. If you were there, you gonna laugh loudly, seeing I'm so shy about it. I'm too in love with you. I become a spoiled brat useless kid when I'm with you. I don't know how you can stand my weird behavior. All the time, I question, whether you really love me or not. But at the time I shared with them our story, I realized. No one can stand my stupid action right now, other than you. I can't never thank you enough. I don't know what you are feeling after our last fight. You just left my question hanging last night. So, I don't know if I should bring it up again today or not. You laughed at my family's stories. So, I hope, your soul is happy too. That's the thing when we are having a long distance relationship just over texting. You can't read their sad faces. You can't hear their cracking voices. You can't feel their breaking points. All you have is their words and that is what you have got to believe. You hardly share anything personal to me, I get it. But, dear, the apple of my eyes, if you are having trouble with me, let me know. We can have a healthy conversation over it. And I'm promising, I will do my best to understand you, the way you try to understand me too. Let's work on this together.
To be honest, in my opinion, the one that really has a great qualification to get married is Farah. She totally the great woman among us. She is polite, soft, understanding, career woman, a great family member and so perfect to me. She's beautiful. Maybe that is why, nobody would not dare to touch her heart. If there is someone out there that tried to break her pure heart, I'm gonna apply all of my knowledge in forensic just to make him disappear in the world. She on an early stage to know someone from the internet. Yeah, using today's technologies, it is not weird anymore if the love of your life is coming from the virtual world. Mine too. I just remembered about it. I prayed for her. A nice woman, should meet a nice gentleman, right? Based on her smile when she is talking about the mysterious man, I know, she liked him. I hope she will the her partners in life. The one that will be gentle to her the same way she is being gentle to me. The world may be abusive to all of us. But once you find the right one that will be standing with you in the storms, it will be okay. Nothing is matter anymore. We can standing alone, of course. We are absolutely strong. But two is better than one. And you know it better than anybody else.