24th of March 2022
To be honest, the feature that I most proud of my body is my hair. No lie, it is beautiful. I love my hair. It is thick, straight, dark brown, shining and too enchanted when it is wet. And sometimes, people at the salon was jealous of my hair. But the problem is, my hair is thick. I mean too thick. When it is getting long, or touch my shoulder, my scalp will get itchy because of the dandruff. That is why I always keep my hair short. There is a little interesting fact about hair in forensic. It does not have our full DNA, unless on the root only. To be more specific, it only has mitochondria that contain information from the mother. That is why, if the hair of the suspect was found in homicide area, the list of suspect will be the siblings, the mother, their grandma, their great grandma and so on. Even though the hair categorized as a weak evidence, it helps in narrowing the suspect. Using the length, age, color and type of hair, it can eliminate the other suspects and focusing a few only. Next, check their alibi and the capabilities to conduct the crime. Forensic is hard. It is dealing with life and death. And you will learn that there is a really, really fine line between innocence and the true evil. But if you are focused, do your job correctly, being really cautios about everything, and have the strong integrity, it will be okay. If not, prepare yourself in front of Him.
It is so weird that people always encourage us to take the risk. They said that if we still in our comfort zone, we will never have a story to remember when we are old. Or that maybe we may not get what we want. Or worse, we will never be happy. Of course, I willing to take the risk, only when I know that there is a very high possibility that the outcome is the same as I expected. Everyone is afraid to take the risk. It is true. Everyone afraid to get hurt. Again. I pretty sure that in our childhood, we never scared of anything. Riding a bike, entering haunted house, bathing in mud, playing till late afternoon, anything. But as we grow up, the challenges are getting harder too. It is not about you fall down when riding a bicycle and get your knees bleeding anymore. It is about you put trust, hope, expectation in people and they betrayed you. You can treat the injured knee with a bandage but how you are gonna treat a broken heart? Spell? We have never been afraid to take the risk for the first time because we absolutely have no idea what it will take from us. But once we experienced the downfall of it, it will make us having a long thinking to get into the same risk, again. Is it worth it, or not? Am I gonna heal again after this or not? Or do the thing will be the same again if it did not work out or not? Those questions will keep running in our mind because we don't know the exact answer for it. Some people, chose to take the risk because of the sunshine that waiting for them on the other side. Without thinking that maybe there are some storms in between it. And some people, just chose to stay. They just can't bear the storms anymore, no matter how enchanting the sunshine at the end of the road. Different people, have their own different ways in handling the pain. Don't judge their decisions.
Just now, my supervisor called me about my progress. She told me that my co-supervisors excited to know my update regarding the project. One week from now, we gonna have a serious meeting, and I am not prepared at all. Don't you feel weird that some events, you know it will come. You know you will face it. But, no matter how great you are at predicting the future, you will never be prepared for it. You see it coming but you can do nothing about it. Like losing people. They are sick. They will be gone anytime soon. And the doctors keep telling us to prepare ourselves. But can we be prepared? No. Absolutely no. No matter if you know today or you know long before it, the grief is still the same. The difference is you just got time to say goodbye. The other still the same. You get hurt, you being left, you are alone. That is why I don't like being attached by too many people. The thoughts of losing them, terrified me. Like I said before, I never feel the taste of being left by the people that I cannot see in this world anymore. But, by imaging the pain from it, I know, I'm not gonna survived quickly. This is how I'm getting prepared. And this is how I'm protecting myself.