01st of April 2022
I slept late last night. Just to finish up my household job, especially the laundry. I cannot let any of these to be procrastinate even for a day. I got mad because no one helps me. Even my parents. My mom just with her phone watching me doing the whole works all night. The ones that I really, really hate so much is clean up the dishes on the table. Because I did not eat any of it. It has gone bad and I don't like it. Smelly. But I need to clean it anywhere because if I don't do it right now, nobody will ever touch it. My sister is getting better from her fever and now, the one that worrying me is my grandma. She still did not want to eat anything. Her body becomes thin as paper. Her face pale as snow. Her hands, there are bruises everywhere. She just sh*tted on my car this morning. And I'm scared. I'm scared because that is the most common way God wants to clean up our body before He take it back to Him. I'm not ready. I'm not preparing myself to lose my grandma right now. God, please.
Tonight, there is no one home other than our family and dad's mom. We talked about lands and properties. About the injustice in dividing the properties from my great grandparents. How unfair is it. I just unfolded the true story behind it. My grandma has five sisters and brothers, but all of them, mostly love money, in my opinion. They said nothing is thicker than blood, but nowadays, I think money is thicker that anything. That is why, I always told my dad that if he got any of these properties, just sell it to someone else. I just don't want, my siblings fight over it. Nothing lasts forever. Especially wealths. You can gather all the money, lands, properties, assets around the world. But still never feel enough. You keep wanting more and more, making you become blind to all the things that you cannot buy using money. I'm scared that I'm gonna be one of them. Chasing money too much till I forget to enjoy the moment. I'm trying my best to train myself to live like other people, B40 maybe. I should lower my expectations. Just live with everything that are here. As long as the ones that I love are here beside me, I should be happy about it. I should accept you for whatever you are. As long as you are worth to keep. I love you. Let's keep doing our best to be the best of us.
I really hate when someone cannot keep their promise to me. Just like tonight. My mom just said that she wants to go out with me having dinner in the city. But when the time comes, she just said that I should go by myself and just take away the orders. Mad? Of course I'm mad. I was excited for tonight's event. Because I really, really want to eat chicken chop at that particular restaurant. But when someone does this to me, my mood just going down rapidly. Not just one. But multiple times, my mom do this to me. But the funny thing is, no matter how much my mom do this to me, I still expect the same thing for her. I guess, that is what happen to the one that we love. We keep expecting the good things in them. No matter how many times they disappoint us. Because we love them.